Posted by: dharmabeachbum | April 28, 2013

Waging heavy peace can be tough (Vol. VIII)

(This is Volume VIII of the Seagull Saga. Volumes I through VII can be found under Archives or Categories.)

“So,” Jon Seagull said. “You wrote that you walked away from society.”

“That’s not what I wrote. I wrote that my obsession with hunting sharks teeth led me as far away from society as I could get.”

“Same difference. You walked away from society.”

“First of all, you’re a seagull. You can’t read…”

Jon interrupted me. “No, but you can.”

“Okay, you’re right. I walked away from society.”

“Tell me something, genius,” said Jon. “If one is trying to escape society, the last place one would go, seemingly, is to the beach of a popular resort town. You could have disappeared in the thickets bordering the marshes and settled for wrasslin’ alligators.”

“I guess I didn’t plan out my flight very well. I didn’t make it very far before I decided to turn around and confront things head-on.”

“So, now you take cheap shots at everyone. Local government. The good ol’ boys. Builders & Crashers Inc…Even us.”

“Tough love,” I responded. “Or, to borrow a phrase from the great Neil Young, I’m waging heavy peace. With the city I love. With myself.”

“Aren’t you going to write about the city services employee who looked right at the overturned trash barrel at the 67th Avenue Access and just kept driving? Remember? You picked the potato chip bag and the plastic cup from the sea oats and stood the barrel up, beer cans and all. Aren’t you going to…”

“Nope. Not right now.”

“What about the two cops you saw making turns without using their turn signals — one maneuvering from 65th Ave. onto Somerset Drive and the other from 63rd onto Somerset. Two routine-patrol incidents within three days in your neighborhood. Come on. They’re not above the law.”

“Wait a minute. You didn’t see those traffic violations. You weren’t even there.”

“Wasn’t I? Now quit avoiding the subject. You’re not going to write about those two officers failing to lead by example?”

“No. Not now. I need to back off a bit.”

“What happened to tough love?” Jon asked, shaking his head in disgust. “You’re still an idiot.”

“Yeah, I am. I’ve always said that the world is full of idiots and I’m one of them.”

Jon stretched his wings and paused. “You know. We’re alike in a lot of ways. Self-loathing and hyper-critical.”

“That’s better than being a hypocrite.”

Jon sqwauked in the hilarity of the moment. Then he got serious. He spoke solemnly — almost as if he sincerely cared. “I’m always here if you need to chat. If you need the company.”

“Thanks Jon. Back at ya.”



  1. last night i was talking about j. l. seagull and today i said for the 2nd time, i have to remember to look up sharks teeth and see what they look like.lolthen i come here and you have both.

    • LOL. I always aim to please, Errin. I just showed two ladies from Charlotte what sharks teeth look like today. Isn’t that odd? Jon’s an angry gull. He just won’t leave The Man alone.

      • you did a good job.thank-you because now i think i have 3,from your picture.
        also i was trying to write a haiku about j.l. seagull last

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: