Posted by: dharmabeachbum | November 13, 2013

Those Orca fellas most definitely needed a bigger boat

“JAWS” is among my favorite movies of all time and stands as the best and most influential flick based on human encounters with sharks of any kind. Released in 1975, the blockbluster film has both terrified and entertained more people throughout the world than any other movie released since, but think about how many marine biologists, conservationists and beach bums were influenced to enter their chosen fields after seeing this ocean adventure.Jaws gif

“JAWS,” based on Peter Benchley’s book, was directed by Hollywood icon Steven Spielberg. I thought the three leads – the late Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss and the late Roy Scheider were all excellent, but it seemed to me that Shaw was born to play Quint. So, here’s to swimmin’ with..nevermind.

Hope y’all enjoy these quotes. They’ve been “borrowed” from websites across the net. Man, people use exclamation points and question marks like they’re on sale during a blue-light special at K-Mart.

“I’m only trying to say that Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars. If the people can’t swim here they’ll be glad to swim at the beaches of Cape Cod, Hampton, Long Island (or along the Grand Strand, I add most humbly).”
-Mayor Vaughn (Murray Hamilton)

“Mr. Vaughn, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine. An eating machine. It’s really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks, and that’s all. Now, why don’t you take a long, close look at this sign (referring to billboard with graffitti)?” Those proportions are correct.”
-Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss)

“It’s a carcaradon carcharias. It’s a great white.”
-Hooper, when asked by Mayor Vaughn what kind of shark was involved in Chrissie’s attack

“Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll catch this bird for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad fish! Not like going down to the pond and chasing bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow ya whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, down you go. And we gotta do it quick. That’ll bring back the tourists. That’ll put all your businesses on a payin’ basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than $3,000 bucks, chief. I’ll find him for three, but I’ll catch him and kill him for ten. But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don’t want no volunteers. I don’t want no mates. There’s too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.”
-Quint (Robert Shaw), after scratching his nails across a chalkboard to get everyone’s attention at a town hall gathering.

“We’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
-Chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider), after recoiling in shock when the great white shark breaks surface very near the Orca

“Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain. For we’ve received orders for to sail back to Boston.”
-Quint singing a shanty when the Orca’s engine blows at sea

“(Hooper, singing) “Show me the way to go home. I’m tired and I want to go to bed. (Quint joins) I had a little drink about an hour ago and it’s gone right to my head. Wherever I may roam by land or sea or foam, you can always hear me singin’ this song. Show me the way to go home..bom, bom, bom. Show me the way to go home..bom, bom, bom..I’m tired and I want to go to bed. (Brody joins) I had a little drink about an hour ago and it’s gone right to my head. Wherever I may roam by land or sea or foam. You can always hear me singin’ this..”(the barrel attached via harpoon to the great white shark bangs into the side of the boat)
-Orca crew

“I got no spit.”
-Hooper, preparing to be lowered into the shark cage and attempting to wet his mask

“All right. All right. All right. Come on. Show the tank. Show me the tank. Blow up. Blow up! Smile you son of a.. (relieved, laughs)”
-Chief Brody, clinging to the sinking Orca’s mast and training a rifle on the great white

JAWS Conversations

On the beach and taking a dip, movie’s first lines:

Cassidy (Jonathan Filley): “What’s your name again?”
Christine Watkins (Susan Backlini): “Chrissie!”
Cassidy: “Where are we going?”
Chrissie: “Swimming!”
Cassidy: “Slow up, slow down! I’m not drunk! Slow down! Wait I’m coming! I’m coming! I’m definitely coming! Wait, slow up! I can swim — just can’t walk or dress myself.”
Chrissie: “Come on in the water!”
Cassidy: “Take it easy. Take it easy.”
Chrissie: “God help me! God! (in the shark’s jaws and fighting for air) “God help!”
Cassidy: “I’m coming..I’m coming.”
Chrissie: “It hurts! It hurts! Oh my god! God help me! God please help!”

At the harbor office:

Brody: “Who are you?”
Hooper: “Matt Hooper. I’m from the, uh, Oceanographic Institute.”
Brody: “Oh for Christ’s sakes. You’re the guy we called. I’m Brody, I’m Brody!”
Hooper: (laughs) “Very glad to meet you.”
Brody: “Yea, I’m glad to meet you too.”
Hooper: “Listen, I know you got a lot on your hands right now but, uh..”
Brody: “What can we do for you?”
Hooper: “Well I think the best thing for me to do is, uh, see the remains of the first victim; the girl on the beach.”
Brody: “Okay fine. Just bear with me will ya?”
Hooper: “Sure.”

Brody’s den:

Brody: “Is it true that most people get attacked by sharks in three feet of water about ten feet from the beach?”
Hooper. “Yeah.”
Brody: “And that..and that before people started to swim for recreation – I mean before sharks knew what they were missing – that a lot of these attacks weren’t reported?”
Hooper: “That’s right.”
Brody: “Now this shark that..that..that swims alone.”
Hooper: “Rogue.”
Brody: “What’s it called?”
Hooper: “Rogue.”
Brody: “Rogue, yeah. Now this guy, he..he keeps swimmin’ around in a place where the feeding is good until the food supply is gone, right?”
Hooper: “It’s called ‘territoriality.’ It’s just a theory that I happen to..agree with.”
Brody: “Then why don’t we have one more drink and go down and cut that shark open?”
Ellen Brody (Lorrain Gary): “Martin? Can you do that?”
Brody: “I can do anything; I’m the chief of police (sound familiar, anyone?).”

Orca’s Cabin:

Brody: “I’m gonna make a phone call. Hello? Hello? Hello? Mayday Orca. Coast Guard? Coast Guard, this is the Orca do you read me? Coast Guard, this is the Orca do you..?”
Quint: “Excuse me, chief (smashes the radio).”
Brody: “That’s great! That’s just great! Now where the hell are we, huh? You’re certifiable, Quint! You know that? You’re certifiable!
Quint: “Yah! Yah! Yah!”
Brody: “You’re certifiable!! But I’ll tell you this..”
Hooper: Boys. “Oh, boys. I think he’s come back for his noon feeding.”

Quint: “Chief. Don’t you worry about it, chief. It won’t be permanent. You wanna see somethin’ permanent? Bababoom. Hey, Hoop. You wanna feel somethin’ permanent? Just put your hand underneath my cap. You just feel that little lump? Knockanolum. St. Patty’s Day. Boston.”
Hooper: “I got that beat. I got that beat. It’s a moray eel. Bit right through my wetsuit.”
Quint: “Well, Hoop, now listen. I, I don’t know about that but I ended an arm wrestling contest in an Oke bar in San Francisco. You see this? Now I can’t extend that. Do you know why? Get to the semi-final, celebrating my third wife Demise, big Chinese fella, he pulled me right over! (laughs)”
Hooper: “Look at that. It’s a bull shark. He s..he scraped me when I was taking samples.”
Quint: “I got somethin’ for ya. That’s the thrasher. You see that? Chief, thrasher’s tail. Scewp.”
Brody: “Thrasher?”
Hooper: “It’s a shark.”
Quint: “Do you want a drink? Drink to your leg?”
Hooper: “I’ll drink to your leg.”
Quint: “Okay, so we drink to our legs (laughs).”
Hooper: “I got the creme de la creme. Right here. Hold on. Yeah, you see that?”
Brody: “You’re wearing a sweater.”
Hooper: “Right there. Mary Ellen Moffit. She broke my heart. (all three laugh)”
Brody: “What’s that one?”
Quint: “What?”
Brody: “That one, there, on your arm?
Quint: “Ah, well. It’s a tattoo. I got that removed.”
Hooper: “Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me. Mother (laughs) What is it?”
Quint: “Mr. Hooper, that’s the U.S.S. Indianapolis.”
Hooper: “You were on the Indianapolis?”
Brody: “What happened?”
Quint: “Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin’ back from the island of Tinian Delady, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn’t see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know, you know that when you’re in the water, chief? You tell by lookin’ from the dorsal to the tail. Well, we didn’t know. `Cause our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. (chuckles) They didn’t even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin’. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it’s..kinda like `ol squares in battle like, uh, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark goes to the nearest man and then he’d start poundin’ and hollerin’ and screamin’ and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn’t go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he’s got..lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eye. When he comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be livin’. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah, then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin’ and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’ they all come in and rip you to pieces. Y’know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don’t know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I don’t know how many men; they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin’, chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson, from Cleveland. Baseball player, bosom’s mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well, he’d been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He’d a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper Anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

On the Bridge:

Hooper: “You ever have one do this before?”
Quint: “I don’t know..Hold fast!”
Hooper: “He’s chasin’ us. I don’t believe it!”
Quint: “We’re gonna draw him into the shadows, draw him in the shallow water, gonna draw him in and drown him. We’re headin’ in, Brody!”
Brody: “Thank Christ! Ever have a great white do this?”
Hooper: “No.”
Brody: “How far do we have to go?”
Hooper: “Quint, don’t put that much pressure on her. Quint, God damn it!”
Quint: “Shaddap! Get back there! I break the engine..!”
Hooper: “It’s gonna tear up! Doh! Hold on!”
Quint: (singing as if enjoying the moment) Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies. Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain. For we’ve received orders for to sail back to Boston.
Hooper: “You did it! You did it! You burned out the bearings! My gear!”
Quint: “And so nevermore shall we be.”
Brody: “All right! Stop the boat. Stop the boat! Stop it!”
Quint: “Hooper! Chief, Hooper, what exactly can you do with these things of yours?”
Hooper: “Well, I think I can pump 20 cc’s of strychnine nitrate into him. If I can get close enough.”
Quint: “You get this little needle through his skin?”
Hooper: “No. I can’t do that. But if I can get him close enough to this cage, I think I can get him in the mouth or..”
Brody: “That shark will rip that cage to pieces!”
Hooper: “You got any better suggestions? Easy.”
Quint: “Easy! All right, up..up she goes! Ease her down.”

Last lines, as Brody and Hooper cling to a plank:

Brody: “What day is this?”
Hooper: “It’s Wednesday, uh, it’s Tuesday, I think.”
Brody: “Think the tide’s with us?”
Hooper: “Keep kicking.”
Brody: “I used to hate the water.”
Hooper: “I can’t imagine why.”

"You tell me what a beautiful creature great white sharks are one more time, ya good-for-nothin' bum, and I'll slice ya ta ribbons."

“Huffer, you tell me what a beautiful creature great white sharks are one more time, ya good-for-nothin’ bum, and I’ll cut you up and use yer carcass for chum.”

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